A Gentle Answer

A wise man once said… nothing.  Yes, you read that right. 

In the Old Testament Book of Proverbs (15:1) we read; “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Last night I couldn’t sleep. After tossing and turning for an hour, at 4AM I finally surrendered and got up to read. Before doing so, I briefly perused Facebook and viewed several comments and various opinions about on upcoming event in our town. I must confess it was discouraging to see the arguing, sarcasm, and insults, all over what really is an unimportant issue (at what point is it appropriate to reserve spots along a parade route?) when viewed in contrast to things going on in the world around us. As members of the same community, we can be better.

But what can I do? What can you do? The noise of negativity is oppressive, but it can be pushed out with GOOD. Light will ALWAYS overpower dark; dark must ALWAYS surrender to light. I alone can’t affect what happens in the House and Senate Chambers, or at the White House, or what continuously scrolls through my newsfeed. But I can make a difference in my home, and in my neighborhood, and in my community. I can act with more compassion, I can offer kinder and softer responses, or I can offer no response at all.

Friends, we don’t have to react or respond to everything. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting peace at all costs, and I am not suggesting that it is never appropriate to speak up in the defense of what is most important to us. I’m not suggesting that physical defense is never necessary. What I am saying is, you don’t have to react to everything that is said to you or respond to everything that you encounter on social media. If words can control you, and cause you to have a poor reaction, then anyone and everyone has control over you. Don’t surrender yourself like that. Real power is found in restraint, not the rebuttal of an argument, and certainly not in witty or cutting remarks sent from the safety of the distance.

Please allow a Biblical example: Martin Luther King used the Bible story of the Good Samaritan in his “I’ve Been to the Mountain” speech in Memphis the day before he was killed. You may recall that a traveler was robbed, beaten, and left for dead.  Some avoided him, passing by on the other side of the road, but not the Samaritan.  Dr. King noted those who passed him must have asked themselves; “If I stop to help this man what will happen to me?” But the Samaritan reversed the question and asked himself, “If I don’t stop to help this man, what will happen to him?” The Samaritan loved his neighbor; someone with whom he had little in common, someone with whom he disagreed, someone from a different demographic, someone who viewed the world very differently that he did; someone who probably hated him for who he was, where he was born, and the blood that flowed through his veins. The writer of the ancient text leaves us to our own assumptions what words might have been exchanged in this interaction, although I would argue few, if any, as the traveler was likely unconscious. The Samaritan communicated with action.

Wisdom is so often exhibited by what you DON’T say.

About The Author-

Chaplain (Lieutenant Colonel) Tim Clayson was born and raised in Payson, Utah and is the son of Clark and Ruth Clayson. He joined the Utah National Guard during his senior year of high school and for 19 years was an enlisted Soldier with the 145th Field Artillery, in Spanish Fork, Utah. During this time, he served as a Howitzer Chief of Section, Gunnery Sergeant, and Chief of Firing Battery. He was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in 2009 and is currently serving as the Chaplain for the 97th Aviation Troop Command.

Since 9/11 Tim has deployed three times, most recently serving in the Middle East with the 65th Field Artillery Brigade. Tim holds a Master of Family and Human Development from Utah State University and a Master of Divinity from Lubbock Christian University. His military awards include the Utah Medal of Merit, the Army Commendation Medal, the Meritorious Service Medal, and the Bronze Star.

Tim and his wife Krista have been married for 28 years and have 5 children.